I keep ending up with jerks and it's really bringing me down?

I was in a 6 year relationship with a sociopath who was physically and mentally abusive to me. I ended the relationship back in November of 2010 and it was very difficult to feel I could date again. Finally I met a doctor at a party a few weeks ago. He sent me a letter shortly after saying that he had a crush on me and wanted to date. He was completely different than all the other guys i've dated. He had an education, a good job, clean cut, sweet, fun, etc. I was really into musicians and artists for a long time and people around me urged me to stay away from those types because I had been hurt for so long by my ex as well as others before him. So i've been seeing this doctor who brought me flowers, paid for everything, invited me to concerts, sporting events, vacations and everywhere i dreamed of going. Then on our last date he told me he was in love with his ex and only wants to be friends with me. His ex im convinced only wants him back because she seen he was with me. I'm completely devistated yet again and I don't know what I can do. It seems I've met people of all different types, ones who look like freaks and make no money, to ones who have tons of money and respectable jobs. I've dated near 40 men in the last 18 years and I always seem to end up the girl on the backburner. Everyone wants me until their ex's come back into their lives. It's really depressing me. I'm in therapy where they only tell me to have higher standards for men, but you see where that got me when I dated a doctor. I just feel so down and medication isn't even helping me. I don't know what I can do to get out of this rut and meet someone who wont dump me for their ex. I have a good job as a surgical assistant, I run my own business, I'm a model, musician, and writer and I think I have many things to offer but no one ever gives me a real chance. I've been through a lot and when I finally pick myself up again I get let down and it just gets worse and worse each time. Can anyone help me or give me some advice on how I can break this cycle?